Have you noticed that since you gave birth to your little babe that your relationship status has changed among your friends? I have! When I first found out I was pregnant, I had so many friends around me wanting to share in the joy, but those without babies didn't stick around long.
After being pregnant for a few months I noticed that my friendships started to dissipate as they were off doing "non-pregnant" things and I was ...well not! Though we kept up through text messages, Facebook, and smoke signals, it started to be fairly obvious that what we had in common was getting slimmer and slimmer.
Being a first time mom, I figured that once I had my baby boy things between my friends and I would go back to how it was pre-pregnancy. I was not prepared for the fact that I would ultimately lose a lot of friends. I figured I would be able to devote more time to them now, I would be able to do those "non-pregant" activities I longed for, and they could come and play with my little bub! HA! Wrong!
So let's fast forward to after me having my baby boy and to the absence of friendships. In the beginning I was having a hard time with nursing and just figuring out the ropes of being a new mom. And in turn I pushed away a lot of people. I made myself unavailable for visits, and I rarely returned any type of message. But that only lasted for a short period. Once I snapped out of it and tried to get in contact with certain friends, it was as though they had completely moved on without me! I would get a "he's cute" comment on a Facebook photo, or a "Like" but nothing more.
I know some of it had to do with me and the fact that I dropped off the face of the social planet for a small snippet of time, but we were supposed to be friends! So I got to thinking if it wasn't me, what was it?! The answer came quite quickly when I was able to finally connect with a good friend. We had nothing in common any more. We chatted about old times, but you can only do that so many times. I chatted about baby, but she didn't have anything to input since she wasn't there in life yet. We talked about her job, but I am now a stay at home mom so my job description is one she doesn't understand. I searched and searched during that visit for a meeting ground and realized that our status has changed.
It was a pivotal point sitting there with nothing to say to a friend who at one point I could sit and talk to for hours. I realized that since I have entered the wonderful world of mommyhood my priorities have changed. Once I got those two pinks lines I started making my family a priority and my friends took a back seat.
I felt guilty at first, but then I realized that I shouldn't! I still have a few friends who love being around my boy and me (you know who you are!) and who are true friends. I will not give up being a good mom to keep my friends around. Those who are true friends will see that your life has taken on another facet, and they will be so incredibly happy for you. They will get it when you don't call for weeks on end, or when they don't see you for a month. They get it when all you talk about is baby and they will initiate those conversations!
It is sad to see some friendships fade away, but one day when they have children of their own, they will understand why my effort has to go towards my child. Until then, I suppose we will continue to grow apart, and those mommy friends I have made will grow stronger. I guess it is all apart in growing up...even at almost 30!